The Memory of Water, Lidia Yuknavitch

In The Memory of Water (2011), Lidia Yuknavitch describes her life through a lens of victimization.  There's no doubt of her intelligence.  She writes well. She’s read a lot. She has published a lot. She is a childhood sex abuse victim, though she doesn't make clear whether the abuse (by her father) went beyond the psychological.  She considers herself the ultimate victim-‑it's her only way of seeing—she looks at everything and everyone through a victim's eyes--and uses it to explain all her problems and failures--her bad parents, her failure to become an Olympic swimmer, drug addiction, alcoholism, stillborn child, failed marriages, lost jobs, DUIs, preening self-regard, a life of chaos and disorder.  She sleeps with a student whom she eventually marries--her third marriage, still healthy, apparently.  She hints at an affair with a famous writer, writes of a short affair with Kathy Acker, implies some kind of relationship with Ken Kesey (it was probably platonic). She settles scores-‑naming people whom she thinks have wronged her--Chang Rae Lee is one. He criticized her writing. The later chapters of the memoir become scattered and diffuse—the first half of the book is more focused and successful.

Because she thinks of herself as a victim, she accepts the various calamities of her life as inescapable.  Because she sees herself as the inevitable victim, she looks for victimizers to blame.  They’ve been present in her life—let’s leave no doubt.  Especially her father, who tyrannized her and her sister psychologically if not physically.  But one wonders whether she could have taken more control.